Finding a Spark

Now your profile is complete, it’s time for the fun part… a little window shopping.

You need to search for members you think are hot, have similar desires and interests, and work geographically for you.

Be open minded about distances as many of our members are willing to travel for a hot date and you can always meet at a mid-way point (although try and avoid meeting at motorway services as that’s hardly conducive to passion 😉

Remember you only get out of online dating what you put in, you absolutely need to spend time on the website, liking, flirting, having fun and messaging.

Set your preferences

First things first, set your preferences, what are you looking for? Are you looking for a man, woman, either (Bisexual), Transgender or Prefer not to Say. What type of encounter are you looking for? Flirty chat, phone sex, friends with benefits, a discreet relationship or sex only or even a relationship. Honesty is always the best policy, be clear about your expectations and hopes. 

Please remember WidowsFire is a fun, flirty, no strings attached site for widows and widowers seeking affection and physical comfort. Many of our members are not emotionally ready for a committed relationship, this is why they joined our non-judgmental community of like-minded people who understand. If you are looking for a serious relationship, then check out our sister site Chapter 2 Dating. You can of course be a member of both sites if you wish.

Location & age preferences

What is your preferred geographical radius? We’d suggest leaving this as wide as you can – sometimes longer distances can work and it will give you a wider selection of profiles to choose from. You can also set age ranges, again be open minded about this as your new connection may be 61 not 60 and that could be a missed opportunity!

Time to start scrolling

Once you’ve set your profile preferences you’ll be served a series of profiles that match your requirements, it is time to start scrolling. 

You can view each profile then click into the profile photo to see their detailed profile, bio and more photos if they’ve uploaded them along with what they are looking for. If you like what you see you can click the heart icon below their profile to indicate a like. This heart will stay black until they like you back, when it turns red. 

Members don’t always check who has liked them so if you really like someone be bold and brave and send a message. We always recommend a light, fun and flirty message as an introduction, and always try to reference something from their profile which shows you’ve checked them out properly and aren’t just messaging everyone. Please do not share personal info like phone numbers, address or social accounts until you’ve had multiple chats through the platform which adds an extra layer of security.

Meeting up

There is a lot to be said for meeting someone relatively quickly after messaging to find out if there is a spark and rule someone ‘in’ or ‘out’. Do not however, arrange to meet someone until you are 100% comfortable. Ensure you meet in a public space and travel under your own steam, do not accept a lift there or home. I find a casual coffee in the day is the easiest low pressure date that’s easy to exit if it isn’t working for you or there isn’t the physical chemistry. For safety purposes we absolutely recommend meeting first for a drink ahead to chat and find common ground ahead of arranging any one to one private encounters.

Good luck, we hope you enjoy the site and if you need any more advice get in touch, we’d love to hear from you about the fun you’ve had on We will never share any feedback or stories without your permission and you can always request we post any tales anonymously if you prefer… email:  

We can’t wait to hear what fun you’ve had!



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